It's me, the girl who cried during the call.
I wanted to reach out and share what's been on my mind since we last spoke. Your question — “How can I help?” — touched me more than I expected, and after reflecting, I think I have a clearer understanding of why. Growing up as the oldest daughter in a family that moved from Korea to the States, I naturally stepped into a role of helping and problem-solving. This approach extended into my work, where I took on the attitude of, “Plug me into whatever project needs the most hands, and I'll do it because I'm capable and I learn fast.”
With Microsoft Mixed Reality being my dream, I genuinely wanted HoloLens to succeed, understanding that it was still in its early stages. I took on whatever was needed to help it grow. Often, this meant working with messy code that no one else wanted to tackle but that was critical to moving forward. As a result, my career story ended up scattered across too many areas, from CI/CD to SDK and R&D — wherever there was a need.
When the leadership announced there was no longer a future for HoloLens, I was in shock. I lost motivation, I lost allies (many of whom left as I was still trying to process the changes), and I've been in a state of confusion these past few months. I've been questioning my purpose, approach, and values, often arriving at no resolution and placing blame on the leadership. But now I'm realizing that I need to be the one looking out for myself, collecting the experiences I truly want.
When you asked how you could help me, I realized just how unfamiliar I was with the idea of needing help — I've been the one offering it for so long. Your question became an invitation for me to think about what I need.
When I asked you what makes you happy, your honesty about feeling a giant, dark void was something I appreciated and could relate to. Has that question been something you've thought about further, and have you considered steps that might bring fulfillment?
For me, I think the following could help fill that void:
- Working alongside others who are passionate and intelligent, people I can learn from and grow with.
- Contributing to consumer products that are joyful and bring immediate feedback from users.
- Having a role where my skills — quick learning, creativity, visual-emphasis, and technical abilities — can truly shine.
I've been really enjoying participating in the stable diffusion study group, and I think this path might be it for me.
Thank you for opening up this reflection for me and for your openness during our conversation. I'd love to hear your thoughts as well if you're open to sharing.